We were excited recently to connect with Shelby A., a former Teens Learning Choices (TLC) and Independent Living program resident who has created her own professional success and financial stability, all while raising a child in her early 20’s. Below is Shelby’s account of how she got from TLC to where she is now, as told to Catherine Martin.

I was 16 when I first came to TLC. I stayed about a year. Then I lived in CFCS’s Independent Living program for about a year, in one of the apartments. IL was not for me at the time, so I went back to TLC for four months until I found out I was pregnant.

Kim Stasny was the director at TLC when I came to live there. I’ve kept in contact with her over the last ten years. Back then, Kim would always give me her weird, “namaste” yoga advice, but she’s just someone I connected with. She gave you your consequences when you broke a rule or were disrespectful, but she also reinforced positivity. She would say, I’m taking this house privilege from you, but here’s the reason why and here’s how you can earn it back.

Amanda Stegmann, who doesn’t work at CFCS anymore, ran the IL program when I was there. She’s my family. Amanda and Kim were the first people I met at TLC. When I started there, I’d never taken public transport. I didn’t know how to take a train or bus. But Amanda taught me how. She took the time to connect with me.

I graduated a year early from high school when I was in IL. At the time, I was 17 and a half. But IL was more than I expected. They cover your rent but not your utilities, food or anything else that’s included in being on your own. I wanted to be on my own but I didn’t realize the full responsibility. So I went back to TLC.

It was overall a good experience. They set me up to go forward, but I think in some aspects they could have set me up more, especially with money. But I still figured it out.

When I left TLC the second time, when I was pregnant, I moved out to Salem to live with my son’s father for a bit. I started working at an IT company and attending college. I originally went to school for IT, but I switched my focus to paralegal studies when I was 21.

I went for my associate’s degree but I didn’t finish school because I was raising a child, and I couldn’t complete my required unpaid internship and look after my child. I couldn’t finish the degree, but that didn’t stop me.

I started out at TLC making minimum wage. I worked at Five Guys, Sky Zone, Coldstone, so many places like that. Now, I’m a paralegal for a law firm in Lexington. My boyfriend and I own a house in Haverhill. This past year, I earned a six-figure salary.

I worked at a couple different law firms before I found the one I work for now. They’re generous, and they understand family and working while raising a kid. A part of it is getting lucky and finding the right company.

My birth mom was 15 when she had me, and then I was adopted. The relationship between my adopted family and me deteriorated over time. I would go to a foster home and then come home, go away and then come home. It was an unhealthy living environment. Everybody was just unhealthy. I finally came to TLC when my adopted mom walked away. She stopped coming to meetings, she wouldn’t try anymore.

She and I rebuilt the relationship just recently, 10 years later. I have siblings with them and I’ve always kept in contact with my sister. So I just reached out to see where it went. Now our relationship’s much better. I’m back in the family. We spend holidays together; it’s like I never left. I just feel like in time, you can forgive.

Raising a kid is hard! I missed out on what most 20-year-olds get to do, which is partying. I had to go to school full time, work full time, and bring him to class.

This generation is so different from mine. But my advice to girls and young women now is, use birth control, and just focus on school before boys. That was one of my biggest downfalls, was letting a man make me make decisions that maybe I shouldn’t have. I wanted to go to IL so quick so I could live with him, and I wanted to graduate high school to be with him.

Now, my son is pretty independent. He can make a bowl of cereal, turn on the TV, microwave food. The biggest thing is, I don’t have a sitter. I can’t do anything in the evenings, so I just have to deal with it. But when I’m in my 30s, I’ll get to enjoy those years.