Alivia’s Adoption Story

This is a transcript of the speech given by adoptive parents Cecilia and Brendan at our 150th Anniversary Celebration on May 9, sharing their family’s adoption story.

From left: Cecilia, Alivia, and Brendan at Alivia’s adoption.

Cecilia: Thank you and good evening, everyone. My name is Cecilia and this is my husband, Brendan. We are the proud adoptive parents to our 12-year-old daughter, Alivia, who joins us tonight at a table with Grandma Maria. A few months ago, our social worker, Sarah, and her colleagues at Bridges Homeward invited us to share some of our family’s story. We were thrilled to speak to the many ways adoption has built, shaped and strengthened our family. 

Our story begins with a recommendation to call Bridges Homeward. We spent much of the early months of the pandemic discussing whether we wanted to grow our family and how. Brendan grew up in a Manchester, New Hampshire in a community where children in care and foster homes were part of the every day fabric of life. I first knowingly met a young person in care when I became a public school teacher at Cambridge Rindge and Latin School. Both of these experiences stayed with us into the early years of marriage. There were many ways to have a family and we were curious about adoption from foster care. 

Brendan: From our first phone call we knew that Bridges Homeward was a special, family-centered place. We took virtual parenting MAPP classes, completed a virtual home study and then finally obtained a real license. We intentionally left our age range quite expansive: 3 to 10 years old. We had never been parents before and didn’t want to close ourselves to our match based on what we assumed about age and child development. 

The story of how we formed our family begins in the most unlikely place: the Jordan’s Furniture off I-95. The one with the Fuddruckers, the IMAX, and on this particular day, people on stilts, hallways filled with reptiles and rodents, and hundreds of waiting children and families at play. For those in the know, this is one of the many incredible adoption parties the Massachusetts Adoption Resource Exchange—or MARE—hosts every year. 

Cecilia: We first knew of Alivia from the MARE website. We saw her beautiful photo, with 100 markers splayed out across her legs. We were excited to learn she has recently come to Bridges Homeward as well and would be at the Jordan’s party. We got there and waited…and waited. She went to the wrong Jordan’s furniture.

Brendan: We both remember this next moment so clearly. The first time we ever laid eyes on our daughter. She came in a head-to-toe pink and black outfit and did an excited jump. “I TOLD YOU!” she said to her social worker. “IT WAS THIS JORDAN’S FURNITURE. NOT THE OTHER ONE.”  Cecilia said to me, “Brendan! Look! That’s Alivia!” and I responded with a very confident “No. It’s not.” Well, yes it was. Perhaps I needed to see 100 markers splayed out around her to make a positive ID. So after weeks of just looking at her photo and hearing about her from her social worker, she was here. Right in front of us, so vibrant and excited to be at a party. 

Cecilia: Upon meeting us, Alivia got right to business. “Do you two have a dog?” “No,” we replied. “Will you two get a dog?” “Well…maybe.” Already, she was advocating for herself and her needs.

Brendan: After that first meeting, we worked with Bridges Homeward to bring Alivia into our lives permanently. We didn’t want to rush this transition. The goal was to build a trusting relationship throughout the spring and summer months. How do you build trust with a 10 year old? How do you become parents through summer visits and long car rides? Cecilia and I were learning as we went. Cecilia and I are late for everything, but I don’t think we were ever late for Alivia. We wanted her to feel like she was our priority. We did what we said we were gonna do, and we called when we said we would.

For Alivia, this transition raised many questions. What would this mean for her relationships with her birth family? Alivia had family, close connections and a whole life in coastal Massachusetts—moving to Central Massachusetts would be a big change. Could she trust us? Would she like Worcester? We realized that these answers would be proven over time and through our deeds. We all had to be OK not knowing if this was wise, if it would work, if we would find happily ever after. We had to trust the bond we were building and the intentions we all made clear upfront. 

We read a book that recommended family meetings. We were willing to try. On one of Alivia’s first overnight visits, we had our first family meeting. We wanted to make sure Alivia understood that her role in our family was to be a child - to play, to learn, to grow, and to be loved unconditionally. 

We sat down with a big sheet of paper and wrote out all the daily tasks that needed to be done - brushing teeth, doing homework, buying groceries. Then, we went through each one and decided which were Alivia's responsibilities and which were ours as parents. It was a simple exercise, but it meant the world to Alivia to know that she was safe, she was cared for, and she was home. That freedom to be a child wasn’t always the expectation put on her, and we couldn’t assume she would just fall into that role.

Cecilia: With the support of our two Bridges Homeward social workers, Alivia’s birth family, including her younger brother who was just adopted in February, we worked to build our family through trust, consistency and a willingness to try new things that scared us. We both are so deeply grateful to Bridges Homeward for their constant, kind and expert care for her and us.

In September 2023, we finalized our adoption in the always-festive Salem, Massachusetts. We were joined by our close friends and family and our Bridges Homeward social workers for our day in court and to celebrate afterward. And this year, we are finally getting a dog!

Brendan: Today, Alivia is thriving. We have regular visits with her birth family, including her brother and grandmother. These connections are so important as she builds her own sense of self and integrates her past and present.

She's a straight-A student, a talented artist, and a kind and compassionate friend. She brings so much joy and laughter into our lives, and we can't imagine our family without her. But we know that none of this would have been possible without the tireless work of Bridges Homeward.

Cecilia: Our team at Bridges Homeward work day in and day out to find loving and permanent homes for children who have experienced unimaginable trauma and loss. They provide the training, support, and resources that families like ours need to create stable, nurturing environments where these children can heal and grow. In doing so, they turn ideas and hopes into reality for hundreds of families like our own.

Brendan: Bridges Homeward always made Alivia, Cecilia and I a priority. Now, we can in turn make Alivia’s wellbeing our priority every day. This is not just a story of our family. This is a story of what expert care and support for families makes possible. We are so glad to be part of the Bridges Homeward network and grateful to all of you for your support tonight.