Reunifying Kyle with His Mother

June is National Reunification Month. Reunification is an essential part of our agency’s permanency work: when we reunify youth in foster care with their biological parents, it means that a family can build safe, permanent relationships with each other, which will support them in maximizing individual growth and participation in their communities. Reunification sounds amazing, but what does it look like? Every family’s story is unique.  The story of Kyle* reunifying with his mom exemplifies some of the complications we see many families experience on their way to permanency.  

Our Intensive Foster Care Program Director Laqunda Nystrom describes Kyle as a 13-year-old “stylish, fun loving, and bright kid” but when he came to our Intensive Foster Care program, Kyle was going through a difficult time. His mother and him were already on track to reunify, and Kyle was looking forward to moving in with her. However, there were still a lot of questions for him: he hadn’t lived with his mom in four years. What would living with her again be like? 

Intensive Foster Care Program Director Laqunda Nystrom

Kyle moved into our Intensive Foster Care program in February of 2024. His permanency goal was reunification with his mother, so it was our job to support Kyle through this transition. Kyle’s Bridges Homeward foster parent, Sarah Thomas, has been a foster parent for over 10 years and was the 2022 Vivienne Cambell Foster Parent of the Year. We consider her an expert in reunification: she wants biological families to know that she’s on their side. If anyone asks Sarah what her role is as a foster parent, her answer is to reunify kids with their families. 

 Sarah was completely prepared to help Kyle reunify with his mom. She opened her home to his mother, inviting her to pick Kyle up for family therapy and school meetings every week. Sarah’s good relationship with Kyle’s mom engendered trust with Kyle. He felt very comfortable and safe in her home. Even now that he is home with his mother, Kyle continues to return to Miss Sarah's for visits.  

Kyle stayed with Miss Sarah from February to March 31, when he moved in with his mother. Laqunda continued to work with mother and son after they reunified, to ensure the process went as smoothly as possible. Of course, it wasn’t completely smooth: even though reunification is a good thing, that doesn’t mean it’s an easy thing. 

When they first reunified, Kyle’s mom was on the right track, but her son was receiving a lot of paid support when he was in foster care that would eventually go away.  Laqunda’s role was to now help mom identify her own networks of support, and work on her own permanency, so she was better prepared to take care of Kyle. Who could Kyle’s mom ask for help when she needed it? Who could she call in an emergency, and who could help her with her son’s birthday celebrations? Laqunda helped Kyle’s mom strengthen those relationships, for both their sakes.  

Laqunda also worked closely with Kyle to help him adjust to being back home. When a youth is in intensive foster care, they see a lot of professionals – therapists, mentors, social workers, healthcare workers. Initially, Kyle was excited to be home because he thought he’d be done with all those providers. But all these professionals have provided essential support to Kyle throughout his time in foster care, especially mental health support. So he’s been adjusting, knowing that these supports will fall off as he and mom get more comfortable with each other.  

Laqunda focused on helping Kyle to remember coping skills, such as how to manage his anger. We hope that Kyle can understand his reactions and his actions can determine outcomes and learn how tomanage his emotions in a healthy way. 

We also want Kyle to be able to communicate with his mom, something that doesn’t always come easy to him. When Kyle gets upset, he tends to shut down and go internal, holding a lot of things in. We want him to be able to express his feelings more, so he can talk through things with his mom. 

When kids are preparing to reunify, they’re often going to have big reactions. Even if they’re feeling positive about reunifying, they can have a lot of conflicting feelings as well. Kyle was in foster care for almost four years before he reunified, so this was a big transition for him. Seeing his team members like Sarah and Laqunda support his mom was essential for Kyle, as it’s essential for all kids when returning home after being in foster care. With the right support in place, we helped Kyle navigate the messy and confusing, but ultimately wonderful, process of reunifying with his mom.