Family Across State Lines: A Permanency Success Story

Shortly after baby Eli was born, upon his discharge from the hospital, he was placed in foster care. Within a few days, Eli’s uncle stepped forward and offered to open his home to the baby. Because Eli’s uncle lived in another state, his homestudy process took over a year to be approved.  

During that time, Eli’s foster parents came to love Eli and asked to be considered as a prospective adoptive family for him. Because they had been caring for Eli for so long, they were also entitled to consideration, and their homestudy process began as well.  

Eli was nearly two years old by the time both homestudies had been completed, and the Adoption team had a difficult decision to make: should we allow Eli to remain with his lifelong foster parents, the only caregivers he had ever known, or move him 2,000 miles away to the home of his uncle, whom he had only seen on a video screen? Allowing his foster parents to adopt him would enable Eli to maintain his most important attachments and prevent the trauma of separation and loss that would occur with a move. Moving Eli to his uncle’s home would give him the chance to grow up with his birth family and three older siblings. It would also offer him an intimate connection to his family’s culture and background that adopted children often don’t get to experience.  

All decisions of this magnitude are made jointly by the Adoption and Family Services teams at CFCS. We do our best to ensure that multiple perspectives are considered so that we can make the best possible decisions for our young clients. After much discussion and careful consideration, the team unanimously decided to place Eli with his uncle for adoption.  

Last spring, when Eli was 31 months old, his uncle flew to Boston, held Eli in his arms for the first time, and boarded a plane to return with Eli to their home. Today, the family is doing wonderfully. Eli has adjusted beautifully to his new home, family members, climate and culture. Eli’s uncle recognizes the importance of Eli’s relationships with his foster parents, and he has helped Eli maintain frequent contact with them through weekly facetime calls.  

Making the choice to move a child from a lifelong foster placement is always painful. But seeing Eli thrive in the care of his birth family while keeping in contact with his former foster parents reminds us that the best decisions result from encouraging collaboration among adults and maintaining focus on the long-term interests of the child.  

On December 6, 2021, Eli’s adoption by his uncle was finalized in court!  They’re an official, legal family now, and we couldn’t be happier for them.